Hm... cant you set BMS CAN rate in some menu? I think since you have everything wired it would be solved with minimum effort.
Also regarding precharge protection... DCDC goes ON only when both conditions are met: 1. 12V is sent to Enable pin and 2. CAN but telegram is seen in correct format and rate. This doesnt have to be in that order... so when you perform precharge if you use a relay to signal 12V to Enable pin when everything is ready you can send CAN telegram as much as you like, but DCDC will not turn on!